Not Like This
by hannahb9202
Summary: They were partners. They weren't supposed to let it change into something else. Mainly an Amanda/Fin story. Also includes Liv/Cassidy, and Amaro/Casey. Please read and review! Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Not Like This

A/N: I just wanted to make an Amanda/Fin story, since there are only a few. Can't decide if I will make a series out of this or not. Please read and review. (I know this chapter isn't the best, but if you stick with me I promise it gets better)

I don't own ANYTHING! It all belongs to Dick Wolf.

Just because it is mainly a Fin/Amanda story, doesn't mean they are the only couple!

Chapter 1

They were on their 4th shot. It had been a long case and the whole squad was glad it was over. They had just caught a man who had raped 7 little girls, tortured, and killed them. Everyone, but Cragen had joined them. Fin had somehow managed to get Munch out and even Olivia had convinced Amaro to come, despite the fact she was currently dating Cassidy. Now, they all laughed as they watched Amaro try to charm Casey on the dance floor.

"Think he has any real moves out there?" Fin laughed as he watched the Latino man twirling the ADA around the floor.

"Cause you can do so much better, hm?" Amanda joked, her deep southern accent being drawn out.

Cassidy stood up, holding his hand out to Olivia, "Well, I don't know if either one of them have any actual moves, but I'm gonna take my girl home for the night." He winked at the group, as she stood up and slid her own hand into Cassidy's, "She just looks too ravishing tonight to sit here and drink with you losers." They both laughed and headed out the door, Olivia stumbling a little as she leaned into Cassidy for support.

"I think I am going to follow their lead." Munch took the last drink off his beer and began to walk away from Amanda and Fin. "Have fun my lovely little drunks."

Amanda rolled her eyes as he walked out, "You are not fun!" She shouted in his direction, laughing as he simply shook his head and waved her off. Looking at their table, she sighed, they had started out with 7 and now only 4 were left. She didn't want to go home, all she would do once she got there was sit and think about the case. That was the reason she had come out in the first place, to put it behind her, even if it was only for a night. The cases never got better and to her it felt like no matter how many they put away, there were 100 worse pervs out there. To make matters worse, in less than a month, Murphy was up for parole. She had come to terms with the fact he would probably try to come after her when he got out., she just wasn't quite ready for it, yet. She had been in New York only a little over a year now and she was already in a world of trouble and deep regret. If it weren't for Cragen and Fin getting her straight, she would probably be in 100K by now.

"Hey, you okay, Amanda? You haven't said a thing since everyone left." Amanda was dragged out of her thoughts as she heard her partner's voice. He had been her confidant since she had got here. He had been open and welcoming to her and never judged her when she revealed the tiny parts of herself that she was ashamed of.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, just thinkin'." She gave him a weak smile, shooting back another shot. The alcohol was starting to rush into her veins and for the that was never a good thing. She was pretty good at holding her liquor, so when she did actually get drunk, she made stupid decisions.

"I am about to head out of here myself, you need a ride home? I don't want you to walk alone." Fin pulled himself up from the table, throwing some cash down to pay for their drinks. He knew it was a good thing he was off tomorrow because the hangover that was awaiting him was not going to be a walk in the park. He looked over at his partner, she was still deep in thought and he wished he could get her to talk more. He knew he was the only one in new York she had opened up to, but he also knew there were a lot of things she kept to herself. She was beautiful, he knew and so did everyone else they worked with. He shouldn't have the thoughts about her that occasionally would stroll through his head, but they were inevitable. The entire squad room either had sexual thoughts about Amanda or Olivia and the latter was like a sister to him, so that thought had never and would never cross his mind. It wasn't just her beauty that struck him though, it was the spunk and fierceness she had. She was funny and passionate. He had spent so much time just standing there staring at her, he hadn't noticed her looking back at him.

"I got something on my face Fin?" She asked with a laugh, standing up and pushing her chair in. "I could use that ride if you wanna get to walkin and stop lookin at me." She joked. She didn't mind it when he stared at her, actually she liked it. She would never admit it, but her partner was damn sexy.

"Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Let's get you home." He grabbed her coat for her and held it for her while she put her arms in.

"Always the gentleman, you know sometimes I'd swear you grew up in the south too." She laughed as they opened the door to the cold street air of New York. They didn't speak much as they drove to her apartment. They were both lost in their own thoughts. Thoughts of the cases, each other, their other partners. Looking over out of the corner of her eye, she saw a smile perched on Fin's face, "Somethin funny?"

"Oh, I was just wondering if Casey and Amaro got lucky tonight. I almost hope they did. I know I shouldn't since it could create conflict at work, but Amaro is a good guy and now that his divorced his finalized, he is a newly single man. Plus, I don't remember Casey ever being with anyone since I've known her." Fin finished, thinking about if a workplace romance was as bad as everyone made it out to be.

"Hm, did you see the way they were dancing when we left? There is only one place they are headed to tonight and it ain't to go home alone." She watched as they pulled into the parking lot, she wasn't ready to be by herself, yet. She didn't want to go home alone to pour herself another drink and wallow in the dark. "You wanna come up? I'm not too tired yet and could use some company. Plus, I've been needin' someone to change the lightbulb in my kitchen."

"Yeah, I'll come up for a little while. It's not like we have anywhere to be in the morning."

A/N: Sorry I know this chapter was kinda boring and pointless, but I just need it to lead into the rest of the story. I promise it will get better!


	2. Chapter 2

Not Like This

A/N- This chapter is where things start to happen! I don't own anything! It belongs to the great Dick Wolf. Please read and review!

Chapter 2

Fin pulled off his jacket once he entered Amanda's apartment. He had never been in the small space before, but it was refreshing. He had assumed her place would be like his, dark, quiet, and nothing like a home. He was wrong, though. The walls were vibrant colors and she had decorated the place quite nice. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Amanda returning from her kitchen, two glasses of coffee in hand.

"I grabbed some aspirin, too. Thought we could start on our hangover remedies. By the way, thanks for coming up. I'll go grab a bulb and once you get it changed, you can go." Amanda sighed as she handed him his glass and a few of the tiny pills, "If you want to." She added before turning down the hall to grab the bulb.

Fin watched as she walked away. He would never admit it and felt a little ashamed for doing so, but he continued to stare at her ass as she walked down the path and turned the corner. He could hear her fumbling through things in one of the rooms. A part of him wanted to see what her bedroom was like. He had had many fantasies about it and wanted to see of it was anything close to how it had been in his dreams. He was about to take a seat on her couch when he heard a thump and a small scream. Running down the hall where he had watched Amanda go, he laughed at the sight. There was Amanda laying on the ground, bulbs in hand. It was obvious from the slightly kicked over chair that she had fallen off of it.

"Don't laugh, you ass! Help a lady up, would ya?" She asked, laughing a bit herself. She knew she would have a bruise in the morning, but between the alcohol and aspirin, she couldn't even feel it right now. She accepted his hand as he went to give her a boost up. Unfortunately for the both of them, the alcohol was still in effect and he fell to the ground on top of her. His scent was too much to take, his hot breath near her neck. She couldn't take it anymore. All the sideways glances, the midnight fantasies. Or maybe it was just the vodka speaking. Either way, before either of them knew it, her lips were on his. His hands were roaming up her sides, under her blouse. She teased only for a moment before she let his tongue slide into her mouth. The kisses were desperate, full of need and passion. He sat himself up, bringing her with him. She maneuvered her legs so she was straddling him. He pulled off her shirt, leaving her mouth to bury his face in his chest. She moaned as he used all his strength to lift her up, her legs wrapped around him.

"Which way?" He asked, placing one hand in the back of her hair to attack her mouth again, the other firmly on her ass. She merely pointed towards her bedroom. She started unbuttoning the top of his shirt, kissing his neck as she did so. He pushed open the door, quickly finding the way to the large king size bed. He laid her down softly, continuing to stand above her. As she began to unbuckle the belt, realization hit him. As much as he wanted to do this, it couldn't be this way. Not while they were drunk and not thinking clearly. He grabbed her hands at the wrist, not painfully, but forceful.

"What are you doin'?" She asked as she tried to get her hands free. All she wanted to do right now was take him in her mouth.

"Amanda, we can't. Not like this. It would be a mistake." He tried to make sense of what had happened. He hoped that if she woke up in the morning and regretted this, he wouldn't lose her. That was what scared him most.

She felt sick. Had she been wrong? She had thought he had wanted this. That he had wanted her. Maybe, she had misjudged the situation. Tears began to sting her eyes. She didn't want them to. She even felt silly that she was about to cry. She had never had anyone that she wanted so badly not want her back. "Go. I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I just thought…" She trailed off, wiping the tear that slipped out, "I just thought that we both wanted this. I guess I was wrong. Don't worry, I'll never bring it up again." She finished, daring to look into his eyes.

It broke his heart to see her so vulnerable. She had always struck his as strong and independent. "Amanda, you have it all wrong. I do want you. I want you badly. Trust me." He knew if she could see the bulge under his jeans, she wouldn't doubt it. "I just don't want it to happen like this. If this happens, I want us to both have a clear head. I don't want either of us to have any regrets." He sat down beside her on the bed, grabbing on to one of her hands, "Trust me, I want this more than anything. I don't want this to be another drunken night where we end up hating each other for it. Plus, I like to take ladies out on a date before screwing them." He laughed at the last part.

She smiled up at him, "You're right. I mean I do want this, but I think it is best if we wait. I can't lose you, Fin. I don't want to."

"You aren't going to." He assured her as he kissed her forehead. "You should lay down and get some rest, I'll let myself out." He began to stand up.

"Don't go. Please? We don't have to do anything, but can you lay by me? Just until I fall asleep, then you can go if you want." Amanda reached out and grabbed his hand, pleading with him.

He pulled off his shirt, unbuckled his belt, and stripped down into his boxers. He walked over to the other side of the bed, watching her as she stripped down into an undershirt and underwear. She slipped under the covers and he followed her lead. "Get some sleep. We will talk about this in the morning."

"Thanks, Fin." She pulled his arm over her waist and closed her eyes.


End file.
